Feelin pretty good

Yep you read it right haha. I am feeling pretty good lately. I have been doing things for myself a bit lately. The results are pretty uplifting.

I am not going to make the same mistake as I did after my first 5k, which was not setting another goal immediately, so I have set a new goal and that is a 10k. The first 10k I found in my area so far is in May so I am committing to that race.

This is so weird to me because I never thought I would even be able to run 1km let alone try to run 5 or 10km.

I now know that running is for me, I may not be fast but it sure brings alot of happiness to my life. It helps me to improve my fitness, it alleviates stress, it gives me something that is just for me and it even helps control my weight. What else can you ask for haha.

Run for the Cure

So Sunday was the big day. My second race ever, it still made me nervous. This race was so non competitive it was terrific. It was just about getting out there and supporting people with breast cancer and celebrating life. I felt terrific.

After my first km I chose a random woman in front of me that was going a bit faster than I. I thought if I can just keep up to her and maybe even pass her I will run a great time(for me). I was listening to my ipod but I wasn't even hearing the songs, my mind was wandering and enjoying every second of this run. I found myself reading who people were running for on their shirts. Aunts, sisters, Grandmothers, friends, coworkers, you name it. I thought about my friends and family that have had to battle cancer, the ones who have won and the ones who have lost and was instantly grateful for every second that went by.

By the last km I knew I would beat my time if I just kept my pace, there were a couple hills that sure made me breath pretty heavy but I was determined. I caught up to the woman I was following from afar the whole race and said thank you. (Advice that I got from my online running friend Wayne, Thanks Wayne) She was shocked and didn't know why so I quickly explained to her that she was my motivation through the race. She was touched, I think I might have made her day.

I ended up beating my last race time by 2min 14seconds and was soooo happy. I have decided I am going to train for a 10k in May 2010. Maybe do another 5k in between. It is such a wonderful feeling to beat your personal best.

Feeling grateful today.

I didn't run yesterday, I just couldn't bring myself to put on my running shoes. I would have stayed in bed the whole day if I didn't have to chase around my two year old. I am a little tired and stuffed up today but good news is my body aches are gone.

So on that note I am going for a run today. Not sure how far but I am going. I am going to try to get it in this morning because the afternoon looks like it is going to be pretty busy.

I weighed myself this morning and was down to 152.5lbs which gives me a 6.5lb weight loss so far. Man I can't believe that I gained 20 pounds in such a short amount of time. In December of last year I was 139lbs. It is my own fault though. I let my emotions get the best of me and the emotional eating began, my exercise dwindled and I lost track of who I really and and want to be. I am glad I woke up before 20lbs turned into something more.

I have read some weight loss blogs recently and they inspire me so much. They are so strong yet admit when they mess up but get right back on track again. I admire that so much. It is nice to read about real peoples struggles and accomplishments that is what gives me that little push to try just a bit harder. I thank all of you for that.

I found out yesterday that not only my sister was coming to watch me race but my nephew and brother in law are coming to support me too. I know it is going to be an emotional race for me because I am running in honour of my brother in laws mom. She is just starting radiation. I am not sure if she is going to be there I kind of hope not because I am already weepy as it is and I would be so embarrased lol. I just found out yesterday that my mothers best friend got diagnosed with lung cancer and starts radiation and chemo in a week. That simply breaks my heart, all of these wonderful people getting the disease. This is hard on my mom because she just lost her father to lung cancer 7 months ago. So I will be thinking of them as well.

When it all comes down to it life IS so short. You never know what is going to happen to the people you love ofryourself so why do most of us spend our whole lives not being the best we can be at all times? We have to be grateful for what we have and learn from every experience we can to better ourselves. I definately have to take my own advice and it starts here.

Here's to wonderful days ahead!!!

Feelin poopy

Well I have been feeling under the weather all week but we finally got our new furnace installed and have heat. It was sure cold yesterday morning.

I don't know whether I should make myself run or not with this cold. I ache all over and just feel blah. I was supposed to go yesterday but just couldn't get motivated and ended up going to bed as soon as I got my son to bed.

I only have 3 more days until my 5k and am scared I won't be able to beat my time. There just seems to be so much going on around here these days. My basement flooded so my husband is doing the weeping tile this weekend. I have been cleaning up water for the past couple days. Furnace guys in and out of the house. Appointment for little man Friday, Wedding Saturday night after working on the weeping tile all day and my race on Sunday. If I can make it without feeling to overwhelmed I will be so grateful.

So what do you think, should I run today and tomorrow and rest saturday before the race? Or skip today run friday and rest Saturday? Or not run at all?

6days until 5k

My original goal for my Sunday run was to go a distance of 4.4km. So yesterday I woke up and I simply felt horibble, my whole body ached and I intantly changed my goal to just getting out past the end of my driveway.

I am proud to say that I did my 4.4km, with the help of my running buddy and a little slower mind you but I did it and I felt fantastic for about an hour afterwards and then the aches and pains in my body returned from whatever sickness I had so I ended up laying low for the rest of the day and made a huge pot of chili. Mmmm it was soooo good.

4km today

I feel a little ashamed because I have had to start my running experience almost from the start again.

I have new goals this time around though. I started running in the first place because I admired anyone I knew that ran and I wish I could do it. With alot of hard work, ups and downs, and a great set of online friends I ran my first 5k. It was such a huge accomplishment for me and I felt on top of the world.

My biggest mistake I think I made was not entering another race right away to keep my motivation. Life got busy and I was discouraged and my running declined and my weight went up. I didn't stop running altogether thank goodness but when I started to get more serious I could sure tell I was out of shape again.

So here I am starting over with 5lbs down and 14lbs to go and I am up to running 4km in 31.52min.

I have 9 days left before my 5k race and I hope I can beat my last race time of I think it was 38.35min. If I don't I know it is not the end of the world. The bigger picture here is I am running a race for a friend with breast cancer and this day is all about her.

My very first race pic.

It has taken me so long to get this picture but here I am after my 5k I ran for my grandfather and Bosco in May 2009. What a great day that was.

I think I can, I think I can

It feels different being a stay at home mom again but I am already feeling calmer and happier than working where I was.

I ran again with my son in the stroller and found it so challenging. Pushing around an extra 30 some pounds makes a huge difference not to mention you don't get your usual arm motions either. Thanks for commenting on my last post Sarah and to answer your question I won't be running the race with my son and thank goodness for that because I don't know if it would be a very successful race the way I am going right now haha.

Although I am finding it a great change to run with the stroller I think it will better my training in the end.

I am going to try another 5k

I am contemplating entering another 5k. It is on Oct 4th. It is the Race for the Cure for breast cancer. I found out a friend of the family has breast cancer and is starting her radiation soon and thought this would be my way of saying I am here for you and I love you.
She already found out I was planning on running the race in her name and now I am a tad bit nervous. I have only a couple weeks to get my but in gear. I have been running three times a week but only 3km.
I am also a stay at home mom again which means I have to push a stroller as well. I did it for the first time today in a long time and my legs sure noticed the difference.
So I need a plan because I want to run this race and I have to beat my last race time which was just over 38 min. I know I can do it, I just need to find the strength and determination.

My update

Well I have to admit, I lost sight of what life is all about. A few things have happened in my life recently to firstly scare the beep out of me and help me get my priorities straight.

I have been neglecting so many areas of my life the past few months that I don't even know why I am doing it all. So I made sure I took the weekend to think things through and had some nice long talks with my husband. He is so wonderful to me. The past little while I have not been myself and I know it is due to my job therefore he said he supports me 100% that I get out of that situation and quit my job. It will be hard financially again but worth it for my health. So I gave my notice and will be done at the end of the month. I also lost sight in what I was trying to achieve for myself in my running. I ran for the first time in two weeks today and it felt WONDERFUL!! I can't let myself get down to the point that I lose what I have worked so hard for. Running sets me free, it makes me proud. I am not giving up now.

So in order for me to keep my running commitment to myself I involved my neighbour. She wants to start a running program so we are going to run together 3 days a week. I am so excited.

My very first 5k report

Ok so here it is...
I was fortunate enough to have my inlaws pick me up for the race so I didn't have to go alone. My father inlaw ran the half marathon and my mother in law ran the 10k.
So we show up early of course and I am nervous as heck, I must have went pee 4 times before the race haha. I met a few of their running buddies and they were so supportive and encouraging. My inlaws start times were before mine so I had 10 minutes to wait alone until I lined up at the gate. Finally it was time to line up, I waited until most had lined up and I made sure I was at the back of the pack and as close to the right like Bosco had suggested but there were people going behind me and I didn't want to walk behind them again so I just stayed where I was.
The gun goes off and I wait for people to get moving and walk across the start line. And so I am off. I made sure I paced myself to my usual runs and didn't let everyone that passed bother me. Before I knew it I was passing people. Alot of people seemed to be running pretty fast and then having to walk so I would pass them and then they would pass me and I didn't let that interfere with my own pace. About 2km in I was feeling pretty good and the volunteers were cheering me on at every corner and it felt great. I remember thinking to myself, " I am actually doing it, I am running in a 5k race!" I almost started crying but choked those tears back in a hurry and came back into the real world and focused on what I was doing.
Something happened at the half way mark. I noticed a woman ahead of me walking, she would look behind her every once in a while and then start running for a bit and then walk. I still kept my pace and we would pass each other. She would run pretty far ahead and then walk and I would catch up and pass her. This might have been going on the whole race for all I knew but I didn't notice she chose me as competition until the halfway mark haha. So I told myself, "oh its on!!" I didn't want to pick up my pace yet because I didn't want to have to walk. My personal goal was to run the whole race under 40min. But now she added a little bit of competition heehee. So I played the game and was having a blast. We get down to the last half k or something like that and she shoots way ahead of me. At that time it was time to pick up the pace a bit. I was gaining on her and felt terrific, before I knew it we round the bend and I see the finish line. Ya you know it... I pick up the pace more because there is no way after all of that back and forth stuff that she is going to beat me. I crack myself up when I think about how childish I am. And here I thought I wasn't competitive. So needless to say I am sprinting at this time and I shoot past her and tada I cross the finish line. Just as I cross the finish line I hear the official say, "Wow I wasn't expecting that!!" Good thing my face was already red because my embarrasment would have turned my face beet red.
I felt terrific!! I accomplished something so big for me and I beat my own goal. I did it in 38.35min. I got my little metal and started walking through the crowd secretely wishing my husband was there but didn't see him anywhere.
I was so thrilled with everything that I felt my eyes welling up with tears. I choked them back again and kept on walking to a section that I could cheer on my inlaws when they got back from their races. All of a sudden I see my husband and son and my sister walking towards my area. They missed my finish by like two minutes but they showed up to support me and that was all that mattered. My sister took a picture of me so I will try to post it when she sends it to me.

I am already planning a 5k in July and I think I inspired my friend to start running because I jokingly asked her if she wanted to run the race with me in July and she said she has been considering running ever since I started. So yay I will hopefully have a running buddy.
So now I just have to focus on shortening my 5k time. Anyone have any suggestions on the best way I can do this?

Made the 5km mark

This journey was a long slow journey but I made it!!

I set out today for my long slow run which was 45min. As soon as I started my warm up I said screw this and turned around to go back home. The wind was pretty strong and I was freezing. A few seconds later I was having a fight with myself about going home and being a wimp and so I turned around to get the run done and over with.

I decided to take it easy and told myself it didn't matter how fast or how far I went in those 45 min. The first 8 minutes of running were excruciating. I felt sluggish and cold and hated every second and then all of a sudden it got easy and wasn't even thinking about the wind and that my hands were about to fall off. I ran and grooved to my music and before I knew it my run was over.

I drove the route that I ran and it ended up being exactly 5km!!! I did it, I ran 5km without stopping and I did this whole 5km journey slow and steady without any injuries.

I more week until the 5k race, I am so nervous but will be so proud when I cross that finish line.

Time is improving!!

I managed to get out and run with this darn cold and all, mother nature decided to add some womanly cramps in there too for good measure. I did it anyways and I am glad that I did,. I felt so sluggish at first and wondering what the hell I was doing but now that I am done I feel terrific. I did ( 9min run, 1.5min walk)4 times. I worked harder, I could feel it but was still in good shape breathing wise. I drove my route when I was done and I ran 4.8km in my 40 min workout. I am so happy!!!! I am sure I could run this 5k in under 45min, I might even be able to pull off under 40min.

Oh no I have a cold

I ran on Sunday even though I was feeling a little under the weather. It was so windy out but I did my 40 minute run and managed to get 4.4km in so I was happy enough with that. I am slow but I am steady and I still feel great after my run. The weather is getting nicer finally and the snow is G.O.N.E. wooohooo

So today was a rest day and I am sure glad because I have a full blown crappy cold. I hope I feel better by tomorrow because I promised I would run 3 times this week. It seems like a struggle to run 3 times a week lately. When I do run though it is so great, I feel so good about myself. I have a tendency to make sure everyone else in my family is taken care of first before myself and then in the end I don't get to go run. Running is the only thing that I get to do for me so I have to make time for it no matter what.

I got on the scale last week and was not shocked that I was up about 7 lbs weighing in at 149lbs. I felt it and knew I have been eating out of my element the last month or so. Weighing myself was just to kick my butt in gear and get back to my regular me. So it happened I am back in gear and ready to lose. This week I am down 3lbs ....Yahooooooo.

So here are my goals for the rest of April and May
-Lose 6 more lbs
-cut out the late night snacks
-Drink more water and eat healthier
-Purchase a child seat for my bike so my son and I can get some biking in
-Run a great 5K in hopefully less than 45min and make my online running buddies proud

I finially admitted that I run!!!

I don't know if I have ever mentioned that both of my husbands parents run. I signed up for this 5k in November I think or maybe December I can't really remember but I was too scared to tell them I was attempting to run. I guess I was scared because I soooo sucked in the beginning and I was scared to tell them in case I gave up like I do with everything else.

But guess what??? They came to visit us and we took my son for a walk and they were talking about the race coming up, the one that I am in, so I figured it was my perfect opportunity to tell them.

My father in law thought I was lying haha. My mother inlaw was so happy that I started running. My father inlaw believed me after I answered all his questions, the ones I wanted to avoid all along, but they weren't too bad.

The good thing is that now I have something in common with then, something to talk about Phhew. I wonder if I will like this race enough to enter another? I know they are hoping.
Oh and my father in law asked my husband if he was going to be there with little man at the finish line and it looks promising. He must understand how important this is for me, I am glad he mentioned it.

Night shift...yuck

I haven't ran since Sunday(three days) because working night shift has finally caught up to me. I am so exhausted and can't sleep during the day so I figure trying to get out and run is pointless. Although I am done nights now so I can get back to my running schedule.

I am going out of town this weekend to a stag and doe so of course there is going to be some cocktails involved, I just hope it doesn't slow me down to much in my training. I have 25 days left until the race now.

Thanks Tanya for rooting for me!!! You know what... I don't know if anyone is going to come to my race to support me and take pictures. It is not as important to everyone here as it is to me. This is such a huge ordeal for me, actually running the 5k is going to be a huge accomplishment. I just hope I can improve my time in the next few weeks.

4 weeks until 5k

Feeling good today, except I don't think I will be running outdoors. It is raining and dark outside, a bit intimidating for me so I will make use of my treadmill this afternoon.

My 5K is in 4 weeks I just can't believe how fast the time flew by. I am feeling a lot more confident in my running now thank god. I have been taking it really slow but my coach gave me the go ahead to step it up a little so I am excited about that. I will be going for a 30 min run on sunday so I am curious as to how far that run will be. It seems like just yesterday I was running for only 1min intervals and huffing and puffing. I am so very glad I have such great people rooting for me here online.

I weighed myself today and was very scared to see the number on the scale. Lately food has been my comfort and I knew that I would have to pay for it on the scale once my pity party was over but I didn't care at the time. So anyways I got on the scale and to my suprise was at 144 lbs which is awesome since I usually vary between 140 and 142 so only a two pound weight gain. Good thing I kept training for my 5k through all of my boo hooing.



Gotta go to work so I will check in again later.

Words of Wisdom????

Ok so here it is. I am starting to get scared. I have 7 weeks left to train to actually run 3.1miles nonstop. I haven't been keeping track of how far I go because my training is based on time. A friend of mine on about.com has been so kind and is helping me. I am on a training schedule working at my own pace with baby steps so I don't hurt myself in the meantime. I would like to report that I have had no injuries thus far and am so happy about that.

I am just starting my 16th week of training and am just having mixed feelings. As you all know I have been struggling with my husbands job loss and myself entering back into the work force and also dealing with my grandfathers illness and now death but it is just more than that. In my past I have been known for starting something and never finishing, I get really excited about starting something and lose motivation and stop altogether. I usually go on a health kick because I am overweight and then as soon as I lose the weight I revert back to my old ways and gain the weight back and then some more as well. This time it is different, I have never stuck to something for more than 4 months and this time I started my exercising and weight loss September 1st 2008. I started running then too but gave up until I met some really great people, and all of those people are you. So you all motivated me to get back on track and that I did.

It has been 6 months and I am still struggling to keep going but if it weren't for you I would have gave up a long time ago. My thing is how do I keep the motivation? At this point if I didn't have my son to get up with in the morning I wouldn't even want to get out of bed. After I get done with a run I am so happy but it seems like when I know I need to do it my mind thinks of a million excuses and lately it has been because it is too late in the day, or I am too tired from work, or I am too sad. All of those crappy little excuses that don't even matter. I know exercising would help me feel better about all of those things but how do I get the procrastinator in me to shut up? I have came all of this way and I don't want to fail...again. I know I can do this but I just wish it was easier to stay on track and keep motivated. I can't figure out the reason why I never finish anything.

Can anyone relate and maybe give me some advice?

I don't know how I feel

My grandfather passed away today. I am not sure what to think right now but I am relieved for my family that it is over. I am relieved that he is no longer in pain but my heart aches, it aches for so many reasons.

I can't believe I will never get to see him again even though when I took the trip to go out and see him at the hospital, one week ago from today, it wasn't even him that I was visiting. It was some man in a hospital bed. This man had no spirit and no cute little mischievious smirk always planted on his face ready to tease at the next available opportunity. He knew it was me though because when I brushed his cheek before I left, told him I loved him and said my last goodbyes he managed enough strength to give me a weak smile and muttered words that sounded like, "I love you too."

These past weeks have been so emotional for everyone and I just hope it doesn't take long for our hearts to heal.

Books...sigh...wonderful books..

Books are the greatest thing since sliced bread. I am mostly into non fiction books. Self help books are my favourite, I am always looking to learn how to better myself in any way. Health and fitness books are great learning tools for me as well. Even relationship books I dig because I know I have so much to learn.

The books I purchased yesterday were
How to win friends and Influence people by Dale Carnegie
Invisible acts of power:Channeling Grace in Your Everyday Life by Caroline Myss
and the book that I was destined to buy yesterday was
Romancing the Ordinary: A year of Simple Splendor by Sarah Ban Breathnach

For some reason I knew that book was going to find me yesterday. I had borrowed it from the library and started reading it and was very interested but noticed there is a chapter to read for every month of the year. I thought well I don't want to read it all at once then and I can't renew it for a whole year so I read the month of January and February and gave it back to the library. I wished to find that book to add to my own little library. I had a sudden urge to go buy myself a book and I always shop for books at the thrift store because I would be broke if I went to chapters every time I had a book urge. So I went to the thrift store and there it was staring me straight in the eye and jumping out at me.

I have three of Sarah Ban Breathnachs books and just adore her. My next book I wish will jump out at me is Think and Grow rich by Napoleon Hill. I have read it before but I want it for my own stash so I can read it any time I like. What a great book!!

Who is your favourite author and what is your all time favourite book?

Oh and thanks Bruce for the info on the walking shoes and special socks I will definately look into that once I get a paycheck, right now I am just working in running shoes because that is all I have.

A Good Day

Well work is good, I really enjoy it so far I just need more shifts if I am going to get my bills paid. I only had one shift this week so far and am waiting for any phone calls for me to cover a shift.

My ankles were sore from being on them all day at work but are feeling better now. I won't run on a day where my
ankles are sore just in case. I ended up running once last week and it felt great and the next day my ankles were fine at work.

Now I have to get training this week or I will never be able to run 5K in May. I have been slacking I will admit it and I feel horrible about it. Life just seems so busy right now with work, my son and my grandfather.

I treated myself yesterday to buying a couple books at the thrift store...ohhh how I love books. Even though I don't have a ton of money but it felt great to bring home my little treasures that cost me 15 dollars. How wonderful is that.

So when I got home I rearranged my furniture in my bedroom and got cozy in bed and started reading. That is the best day I have had in a while. May there be plenty more to come.

I did run last week..So there

Last night was a good night, I ended up jumping on the treadmill just because I knew it would make me feel alot better. It was a weight was lifted off me when I was done it was great.

Got to spend a few hours playing with my son, I seen him last week but not much because I was at the hospital so we had a ton of fun giggling and rolling around on the floor, oh to be a kid again..sigh.

I am off to my first day of work and am feeling good. I hope everything goes well

A new day.

This week has been craaaazzy. I got the job pretty much on the spot. I am pretty excited. My first day is tomorrow. I will be assisting the residents with medications, personal hygiene, housekeeping and other odd jobs.

The night before my interview I got a call that the doctor told my family that my grandfather only had a few days to live. So I was so bothered and almost didn't go to my interview and travelled straight to my family. The only thing that kept me home was that I had to pick up my other uncle at the airport and bring him with me. I managed to get through the interview fine and the boss wanted me to start work right away. I felt so horrible to need some time off right away but I explained the situation and she told me not to worry and to just start fresh on Monday. What a relief! So I got to spend the week at the hospital with my family and my grandfather and I told him what I needed to and he told me what he needed to. I feel so much better that I got to spend some time with him. I am ready to let go now any time he is ready.

After the rush and emotions of this week I didn't go for one run. I didn't want to make the time my days were filled already.

A new day starts tomorrow. I am leaving all stress and anxiety behind and am pushing forward towards my purpose. I am going to run and be thankful I have the ability to run. I am grateful for every breath I take. May I be great at everything I do.

Are things starting to turn around?

Feeling pretty good today. I have been editing my resume the past few days and making a killer cover letter for this job post I found. I went and applied for the job today and 2 hours later got called to go in for an interview on Monday. I am very excited and confident I will get the job although trying not to get my hopes up too high just in case.

I have to tell you, lately when I have been feeling down and sluggish I make myself get out there and do my run and as soon as the first couple minutes are over I feel a ton better. When I get home I feel refreshed and ready to carry on. It is quite amazing how much I really don't feel like doing it but as soon as I get past that one point I am a totally different person.(ya I know I am a bit crazy but whatever)

Grandfather is getting worse as the days go by but am handling it alot better now. I have come to terms with the fact that he is going to be gone sooner than we thought. That is just how life goes sometimes. If I can get this job then I will be able to have enough money to travel up to see my grandfather and spend some quality time with him which I think he and I both need right now.

Wish me luck everyone. I will let you know how everything goes on Monday. I wish you all the very best weekend!!

The end of the tunnel is near....I know it

Well my furnace is back up and running and the Co detector hasn't went off although I am busy cleaning all the soot out of my house...Grrr but we are all ok so that is all that matters.

My Grandfather had his pain meds changed. I thought he was going to have to be admitted again he was in so much pain but since they changed them he is doing better.

I applied for a contract job at the taxation centre here. I hope I get the job, it is 40 hours a week for 3 or 4 months and it is good pay. My husband got offered a job but it doesn't start for four or five months so that would be perfect timing so we wouldn't have to put little man in daycare. Wish us luck

Running is going well, Some weeks I don't get my five days in but I am still doing this. You are all right that is helps with the stress. I feel so much better afterward.

Thanks for all the comfort everyone.

What the.....

Things just seem to be getting worse although I am trying to think positive. My Grandfather is gone back home to live out what is left of his life which the doctors are estimating about 7 months. I am worried about my mom and how she is dealing with this. I talk to her on the phone every day but wish we lived closer to be together. This situation puts alot of stress on a family and I feel for everyone.

Last night my own family could have died. Our oil furnace had this horrid smell and was puking out black smoke. We shut down the furnace immediately. If we were sleeping the carbon monoxide could have killed all of us. I have a CO detector but was looking online and it is not good enough. The one I have only would go off if concentrations of CO were high and by that time it would probably be too late. I didn't know that my god, I thought when I got it it would go off right away. What good is that and why the hell would they sell them if they didn't detect the smallest amount of carbon monoxide. Well I tell ya I am going to get a new one and make sure it does its job right. Furnace is no longer under warranty which really sucks and with our job loss we are not sure what our best option is right now. We managed to borrow a little space heater for our sons bedroom last night so he wouldn't freeze and we have a small electric fireplace in our basement so we made due last night. Thank goodness the -40 degree weather is over with.

I took my son out in the jogging stroller yesterday. It was really refreshing weather not too cold but chilly. The roads were a bit slushy so didn't get to do too much running, just pushing the stroller throught the slush was bringing up my heart rate enough. It was still nice to get out in the fresh air though.

It is hard not being discouraged at this time but I am very grateful we are still here, alive and well. We will break this stream of events and push on to greater things. I see sunshine and lollipops right around the corner.

Love will keep us together

I Need Never Never Land ASAP

I got a phone call this morning from my mom. My grandfather (Papa) is being flown to the hospital where I live. They found a tumour on each of his lungs. He doesn't want treatment and is giving up. Deep down I knew something of this sort was going to happen it just kills me right now to be kicked while I am already down. He has smoked since I can remember along with everyone else on that side of the family except my mom she was strong enough to quit years ago. I am so thankful that I quit smoking just over two years ago. I almost followed in his footsteps. It terrifies me because my husband smokes and I just don't want anything to happen to him. I wish he would be strong enough to quit if not for himself for his sons sake. I don't even know what to think my mind is spinning in circles. It is so amazing what can happen in a persons life in a few short weeks.

I did plan on running today but to tell you the truth I can't, I just can't. It is hard to think positive at this time. I am going to attempt to find 5 things I am grateful for right now.
1. I am grateful that Papa and I have become closer over the years.
2. I am grateful that I have people who love and care about me.
3. I am grateful that I quit smoking and now am on the quest to be as healthy as I can be.
4. I am grateful I have my son to keep me busy through this time, he is such a breath of fresh air.
5. I am grateful my husband is so supportive.

This would make my year!!

In a previous post I mentioned that I was going to kill two birds with one stone. Well I have trying to sell some of my stuff online to help pay for something for a little girl with Cerebral Palsy, I have recieved emails in people interested in things but haven't sold anything quite yet. Yesterday I recieved an email from a lady named Beverly, she said she was interested in my workout tapes and was wondering what kind of equipment I was donating the money for because her friend has two boys with Cerebral Palsy that are older now and they might have what I am looking for. I was soooo excited when I read that email and wrote her back right away and I am anticipating the end result and pray that it all works out. This would truly make my year if I could help this family is such a great way.

On the job front, my husband and I are still job searching. We are keeping it together very well if you ask me and are still positive and strong as a couple.

On the running front I have been on the treadmill this week because it is -40 celcius outdoors in the morning and I am not even attempting that one. I am treadmill bound every second day like my coach has recommended because of this damn cold but am starting to feel good.

Oh gotta go little man is awake and I am due for my morning coffee. Have a wonderful day all!!!

Strike One

I failed at my first attempt of getting a J.O.B. Talked to my old boss, it sounded like he was going to give me some hours he just had to talk to his partner he owns the practice with and it turns out they are fully staffed at this point. They may have an opening at the end of February. February 28th doesn't help me right now though so I have to move on. My ex boss was really nice though and offered to ask around to see who is hiring.

My husband is being really positive through this whole ordeal so that helps me to try to stay positive as well.

I am feeling alot better today cold wise. Still a bit stuffed up but better. I did end up going on the treadmill today and I am glad that I did. I feel soooo good now.

It is official

Yep, we are jobless. Thankyou to my fellow blog friends for the kind words on my last post I really appreciate it and it keeps me from going insane. My husband and I have been talking alot about it and realize we aren't the only ones around that are having this problem. We do think it will be a problem to find a job in his field only because so many people are getting layed off. So I guess our plan for this moment is for him to apply for Employment insurance and him be the stay at home Dada for a while and for me to get back into the work force. I am going to try to talk to my old boss first and then go from there. I am unable to make enough to support the family in the long run but will try to pay the bills in the meantime. Have alot of phone calls to make today. Downsizing some of our bills like phone and tv and whatnot need to remove all the bells and whisles.

I think you are right Dave, this is a door closing, a learning lesson and will open another door of greater opportunity. Hopefully sooner than later though lol. I spent this last week upset and stressed and inside with a bad flu/cold along with my son being sick. It was a big old pity party and I only went running twice and my food intake wasn't the best. I just got back home from out of town and and my cold is breaking up so it is time to snap out of it and get back into gear.

I weighed myself this morning and I am up 3lbs from my original goal which I am happy with, I thought it would be more. My husband is home now so I have no excuse to not go running so I am out the door today 100%.

Well yesterday my husband and I found out that he may be getting laid off. I don't even know what to think right now. He was off last week because he hurt his back and this week he is off along with a bunch of other guys because there is no work for them. Why does money have to play such a big role in our lives? I know everything that happens to us is a learning experience but I can't see what it is I am supposed to benefit from this situation.

I guess if I just stop and think it will come to me......maybe....lets do some brainstorming..
-we are supposed to learn that money isn't as important as we make it out to be.
-what is important is we have each other and our little man and we are alive and well
-no matter what, things always have a way of working out so learn whatever we can from this situation and go with the flow.
-maybe this is a lesson on how material things do not define who we are.
-I have read plenty of times "sometimes less is more"

Well I feel a bit better now, I will be here waiting for the blessing in disguise.


Oh and my new running shoes are the greatest thing since sliced bread. What a difference!!!

-

Killing two birds with one stone

So when I visited my hometown for Christmas I went to my friends mom's house. She had a few people over. I noticed a picture of a cute young girl on her fridge in a wheel chair like device without arm rests or foot pedals(I can't quite remember the fine details). I asked who the young girl was and she said it was the grandaughter of Barb sitting in her living room. I commented to Barb that her grandaughter was so adorable and we went on talking about the little angel.

Barb said she was almost 3 years old and had Cerebral Palsy and what she was sitting on was a piece of equipment to keep her in an upright postion and she could eventually learn to push herself around with her feet. Barb went on to say that she can't hold herself up so her family takes turns holding her up so she is not laying down all the time and you could imagine how tired your arms would get holding up a three year old for an extended period of time. I said, "Wow, that chair must be perfect then!". Barb said her grandaughter got sized for the piece of equipment but she didn't have it yet. The chair costs over $9000.00 and they are not allowed to have it until it is paid for. The parents of the little girl have recieved some donations so far but not near enough to pay for the chair. I felt so bad for the family and thought if I had 9 grand to spare I would give it right then and there.

When I got home I continued on with my everyday whatevers and the new year came and went and I wrote down my goals for 2009 which is in a previous post. One of my goals was to do something extraordinary for someone special and another was to declutter my home and donate the items. I got to thinking a bit today and decided I could kill two birds with one stone and so I gathered some of the things that I would't mind parting with and took pictures of them and put them on an online classified site for my area. I figured if I go through my house and sell the items that I no longer absolutely need I could donate all of the proceeds to this family to go towards paying for this sweet little girls chair. Wish me luck!! My goal is to at least raise $300.00, I know won't pay for it all but I know any little bit will help. Who knows maybe I will be able to give them more.


On a running note. My husband suprised me today by taking me to a shoe store and he bought me a brand spankin new pair of running shoes. I am so happy!! I haven't ran with them yet but when I tried them on it was like I was on air. So it just goes to show that my current shoes I am running in are due to retire.