Friday, January 30, 2009

Are things starting to turn around?

Feeling pretty good today. I have been editing my resume the past few days and making a killer cover letter for this job post I found. I went and applied for the job today and 2 hours later got called to go in for an interview on Monday. I am very excited and confident I will get the job although trying not to get my hopes up too high just in case.

I have to tell you, lately when I have been feeling down and sluggish I make myself get out there and do my run and as soon as the first couple minutes are over I feel a ton better. When I get home I feel refreshed and ready to carry on. It is quite amazing how much I really don't feel like doing it but as soon as I get past that one point I am a totally different person.(ya I know I am a bit crazy but whatever)

Grandfather is getting worse as the days go by but am handling it alot better now. I have come to terms with the fact that he is going to be gone sooner than we thought. That is just how life goes sometimes. If I can get this job then I will be able to have enough money to travel up to see my grandfather and spend some quality time with him which I think he and I both need right now.

Wish me luck everyone. I will let you know how everything goes on Monday. I wish you all the very best weekend!!

Monday, January 26, 2009

The end of the tunnel is near....I know it

Well my furnace is back up and running and the Co detector hasn't went off although I am busy cleaning all the soot out of my house...Grrr but we are all ok so that is all that matters.

My Grandfather had his pain meds changed. I thought he was going to have to be admitted again he was in so much pain but since they changed them he is doing better.

I applied for a contract job at the taxation centre here. I hope I get the job, it is 40 hours a week for 3 or 4 months and it is good pay. My husband got offered a job but it doesn't start for four or five months so that would be perfect timing so we wouldn't have to put little man in daycare. Wish us luck

Running is going well, Some weeks I don't get my five days in but I am still doing this. You are all right that is helps with the stress. I feel so much better afterward.

Thanks for all the comfort everyone.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

What the.....

Things just seem to be getting worse although I am trying to think positive. My Grandfather is gone back home to live out what is left of his life which the doctors are estimating about 7 months. I am worried about my mom and how she is dealing with this. I talk to her on the phone every day but wish we lived closer to be together. This situation puts alot of stress on a family and I feel for everyone.

Last night my own family could have died. Our oil furnace had this horrid smell and was puking out black smoke. We shut down the furnace immediately. If we were sleeping the carbon monoxide could have killed all of us. I have a CO detector but was looking online and it is not good enough. The one I have only would go off if concentrations of CO were high and by that time it would probably be too late. I didn't know that my god, I thought when I got it it would go off right away. What good is that and why the hell would they sell them if they didn't detect the smallest amount of carbon monoxide. Well I tell ya I am going to get a new one and make sure it does its job right. Furnace is no longer under warranty which really sucks and with our job loss we are not sure what our best option is right now. We managed to borrow a little space heater for our sons bedroom last night so he wouldn't freeze and we have a small electric fireplace in our basement so we made due last night. Thank goodness the -40 degree weather is over with.

I took my son out in the jogging stroller yesterday. It was really refreshing weather not too cold but chilly. The roads were a bit slushy so didn't get to do too much running, just pushing the stroller throught the slush was bringing up my heart rate enough. It was still nice to get out in the fresh air though.

It is hard not being discouraged at this time but I am very grateful we are still here, alive and well. We will break this stream of events and push on to greater things. I see sunshine and lollipops right around the corner.

Love will keep us together

Sunday, January 18, 2009

I Need Never Never Land ASAP

I got a phone call this morning from my mom. My grandfather (Papa) is being flown to the hospital where I live. They found a tumour on each of his lungs. He doesn't want treatment and is giving up. Deep down I knew something of this sort was going to happen it just kills me right now to be kicked while I am already down. He has smoked since I can remember along with everyone else on that side of the family except my mom she was strong enough to quit years ago. I am so thankful that I quit smoking just over two years ago. I almost followed in his footsteps. It terrifies me because my husband smokes and I just don't want anything to happen to him. I wish he would be strong enough to quit if not for himself for his sons sake. I don't even know what to think my mind is spinning in circles. It is so amazing what can happen in a persons life in a few short weeks.

I did plan on running today but to tell you the truth I can't, I just can't. It is hard to think positive at this time. I am going to attempt to find 5 things I am grateful for right now.
1. I am grateful that Papa and I have become closer over the years.
2. I am grateful that I have people who love and care about me.
3. I am grateful that I quit smoking and now am on the quest to be as healthy as I can be.
4. I am grateful I have my son to keep me busy through this time, he is such a breath of fresh air.
5. I am grateful my husband is so supportive.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

This would make my year!!

In a previous post I mentioned that I was going to kill two birds with one stone. Well I have trying to sell some of my stuff online to help pay for something for a little girl with Cerebral Palsy, I have recieved emails in people interested in things but haven't sold anything quite yet. Yesterday I recieved an email from a lady named Beverly, she said she was interested in my workout tapes and was wondering what kind of equipment I was donating the money for because her friend has two boys with Cerebral Palsy that are older now and they might have what I am looking for. I was soooo excited when I read that email and wrote her back right away and I am anticipating the end result and pray that it all works out. This would truly make my year if I could help this family is such a great way.

On the job front, my husband and I are still job searching. We are keeping it together very well if you ask me and are still positive and strong as a couple.

On the running front I have been on the treadmill this week because it is -40 celcius outdoors in the morning and I am not even attempting that one. I am treadmill bound every second day like my coach has recommended because of this damn cold but am starting to feel good.

Oh gotta go little man is awake and I am due for my morning coffee. Have a wonderful day all!!!

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Strike One

I failed at my first attempt of getting a J.O.B. Talked to my old boss, it sounded like he was going to give me some hours he just had to talk to his partner he owns the practice with and it turns out they are fully staffed at this point. They may have an opening at the end of February. February 28th doesn't help me right now though so I have to move on. My ex boss was really nice though and offered to ask around to see who is hiring.

My husband is being really positive through this whole ordeal so that helps me to try to stay positive as well.

I am feeling alot better today cold wise. Still a bit stuffed up but better. I did end up going on the treadmill today and I am glad that I did. I feel soooo good now.

It is official

Yep, we are jobless. Thankyou to my fellow blog friends for the kind words on my last post I really appreciate it and it keeps me from going insane. My husband and I have been talking alot about it and realize we aren't the only ones around that are having this problem. We do think it will be a problem to find a job in his field only because so many people are getting layed off. So I guess our plan for this moment is for him to apply for Employment insurance and him be the stay at home Dada for a while and for me to get back into the work force. I am going to try to talk to my old boss first and then go from there. I am unable to make enough to support the family in the long run but will try to pay the bills in the meantime. Have alot of phone calls to make today. Downsizing some of our bills like phone and tv and whatnot need to remove all the bells and whisles.

I think you are right Dave, this is a door closing, a learning lesson and will open another door of greater opportunity. Hopefully sooner than later though lol. I spent this last week upset and stressed and inside with a bad flu/cold along with my son being sick. It was a big old pity party and I only went running twice and my food intake wasn't the best. I just got back home from out of town and and my cold is breaking up so it is time to snap out of it and get back into gear.

I weighed myself this morning and I am up 3lbs from my original goal which I am happy with, I thought it would be more. My husband is home now so I have no excuse to not go running so I am out the door today 100%.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Well yesterday my husband and I found out that he may be getting laid off. I don't even know what to think right now. He was off last week because he hurt his back and this week he is off along with a bunch of other guys because there is no work for them. Why does money have to play such a big role in our lives? I know everything that happens to us is a learning experience but I can't see what it is I am supposed to benefit from this situation.

I guess if I just stop and think it will come to me......maybe....lets do some brainstorming..
-we are supposed to learn that money isn't as important as we make it out to be.
-what is important is we have each other and our little man and we are alive and well
-no matter what, things always have a way of working out so learn whatever we can from this situation and go with the flow.
-maybe this is a lesson on how material things do not define who we are.
-I have read plenty of times "sometimes less is more"

Well I feel a bit better now, I will be here waiting for the blessing in disguise.

Oh and my new running shoes are the greatest thing since sliced bread. What a difference!!!


Sunday, January 4, 2009

Killing two birds with one stone

So when I visited my hometown for Christmas I went to my friends mom's house. She had a few people over. I noticed a picture of a cute young girl on her fridge in a wheel chair like device without arm rests or foot pedals(I can't quite remember the fine details). I asked who the young girl was and she said it was the grandaughter of Barb sitting in her living room. I commented to Barb that her grandaughter was so adorable and we went on talking about the little angel.

Barb said she was almost 3 years old and had Cerebral Palsy and what she was sitting on was a piece of equipment to keep her in an upright postion and she could eventually learn to push herself around with her feet. Barb went on to say that she can't hold herself up so her family takes turns holding her up so she is not laying down all the time and you could imagine how tired your arms would get holding up a three year old for an extended period of time. I said, "Wow, that chair must be perfect then!". Barb said her grandaughter got sized for the piece of equipment but she didn't have it yet. The chair costs over $9000.00 and they are not allowed to have it until it is paid for. The parents of the little girl have recieved some donations so far but not near enough to pay for the chair. I felt so bad for the family and thought if I had 9 grand to spare I would give it right then and there.

When I got home I continued on with my everyday whatevers and the new year came and went and I wrote down my goals for 2009 which is in a previous post. One of my goals was to do something extraordinary for someone special and another was to declutter my home and donate the items. I got to thinking a bit today and decided I could kill two birds with one stone and so I gathered some of the things that I would't mind parting with and took pictures of them and put them on an online classified site for my area. I figured if I go through my house and sell the items that I no longer absolutely need I could donate all of the proceeds to this family to go towards paying for this sweet little girls chair. Wish me luck!! My goal is to at least raise $300.00, I know won't pay for it all but I know any little bit will help. Who knows maybe I will be able to give them more.

On a running note. My husband suprised me today by taking me to a shoe store and he bought me a brand spankin new pair of running shoes. I am so happy!! I haven't ran with them yet but when I tried them on it was like I was on air. So it just goes to show that my current shoes I am running in are due to retire.