I Need Never Never Land ASAP

I got a phone call this morning from my mom. My grandfather (Papa) is being flown to the hospital where I live. They found a tumour on each of his lungs. He doesn't want treatment and is giving up. Deep down I knew something of this sort was going to happen it just kills me right now to be kicked while I am already down. He has smoked since I can remember along with everyone else on that side of the family except my mom she was strong enough to quit years ago. I am so thankful that I quit smoking just over two years ago. I almost followed in his footsteps. It terrifies me because my husband smokes and I just don't want anything to happen to him. I wish he would be strong enough to quit if not for himself for his sons sake. I don't even know what to think my mind is spinning in circles. It is so amazing what can happen in a persons life in a few short weeks.

I did plan on running today but to tell you the truth I can't, I just can't. It is hard to think positive at this time. I am going to attempt to find 5 things I am grateful for right now.
1. I am grateful that Papa and I have become closer over the years.
2. I am grateful that I have people who love and care about me.
3. I am grateful that I quit smoking and now am on the quest to be as healthy as I can be.
4. I am grateful I have my son to keep me busy through this time, he is such a breath of fresh air.
5. I am grateful my husband is so supportive.